Don’t misspell the name of the language you speak.

My younger brother is going to start high school next year and since my family has lost all hope in the public school system, we are currently shopping around for a private high school. When I say “we are currently shopping around,” I really mean “my mom asked me to do a Google search for schools in our area.”

During my research, I was on the website of a particular school and everything about the school seemed great. It wasn’t until I came across a misspelling of the word “English” that I started to worry and got the urge to bang my head on the keyboard and have the writer of the website defenestrated. I’m sure it was nothing more than a typo, but the first words that came out of my mouth when my mother asked me which school I liked best were “DON’T YOU THINK A SCHOOL WHO BRAGS ABOUT HOW WONDERFUL THEY ARE SHOULD MAKE SURE TO SPELL THE WORD ‘ENGLISH’ CORRECTLY?”

The fact that they misspelled a basic word is not even the greatest issue. My issue is that they managed to misspell a word even though ALL COMPUTERS TELL YOU WHEN YOU SPELL SOMETHING WRONG. The red squiggly line that appears underneath awkward-looking words is not there for decoration. Please, for the preservation of the English language, right click on the squiggly line (unless it’s a green line. In that case, don’t listen to the computer’s suggestions. More on this later). That’s my story. Glad I got that out. 

I’m trying not to judge people at Bible study

But this lady just said “When we get angry with people, we have to literally step outside of ourselves and calm down.”

Lord help me.

(Source: theyuniversity)

I decided to spend the morning cleaning up my laptop and I stumbled upon this screen shot.

I really don’t even know what she was trying to say. In her defense, when she is able to form proper sentences, she is just as much of a grammar nazi as I am.

Accurate.

That awkward moment when you make a writing mistake on your grammar blog.

Oops.

I swear I proof-read that thing like four times. Thank you, write-handed.

Dear Jon Foreman,

While I love your music and greatly appreciate your songwriting talent, I can’t get over the comma splice in your Twitter bio. “I play music in bands called switchfoot, and fiction family.” NO. Just no. Let me help you out: you don’t need a comma there because you are only listing two things. I tried to inform you of this atrocity several months ago via Twitter, but my efforts were in vain. I mean, if you’re not going to use commas correctly, the least you can do is capitalize the names of your own bands. I’m glad you’re grateful to be alive, but you should also be grateful that information on the proper usage of commas is so easily accessible.

I’m gonna need you to do better.

Sincerely,

ACP, a fan of yours since age 12

When I was a kid, my English teacher looked my way and said, “Name two pronouns.” I said, “Who, me?”

Question:

When in need of a synonym, how do you usually go about finding it?

"I never made a mistake in grammar but one in my life and as soon as I done it I seen it."

Carl Sandburg